Peer Review and Revised Thesis Statement

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In my opinion, peer revision is an extremely helpful strategy for editing work; however, it can also be a somewhat frightening and discouraging experience. While I got to learn new things from my peers' work, I also got to hear their feedback as well. While the feedback received wasn't cynical or critical (and in fact, was very helpful), it can be frustrating to see the mistakes you made without realizing you did so. Nevertheless, I am grateful for the process, because it helps me become a better writer.

While reading the QRG's of my fellow classmates, I learned how I could improve on my introduction. For example, as I was reading Gabi's opening remarks, she had a grabber that truly did "grab" my attention. It was an intriguing question that made the reader want to respond to and interact with the text. It reminded me that in order to keep individuals interested enough to read the rest of my work, the introduction must able to draw in and retain an audience's attention.

I know that my draft could have ended up much better, and so could my thesis statement, but after all, the revising process is where we learn to improve our writing, so that is what I plan to do. For example, my previous thesis statement was "There are immense amounts of public discourse being presented on the controversy; most of it comes from physicians and athletes that are constantly aware of their rhetorical situations and platforms, and want to argue their points to the public. " With the help of others and their suggestions though, I have managed to revise my thesis. It now reads, "Due to the immense popularity of stem cell treatment and its ability to heal an injury faster than conventional medical care can, physicians and athletes are taking to various rhetorical platforms to voice their opinions on if the therapy is truly safe and/or helpful." While I do feel that this thesis statement is an immense improvement because it is more organized and specific, I will more than likely continue to adjust it as I see fit for my QRG. After all, there is always more work that can be done to a creation- even after it is turned in or published!

I commented on Cati's and Alaina's blog posts.